16 July, 2009

my biggest problem

i crave perfection.

i seek perfection.

i need perfection.

perfect body.

perfect hair.

perfect skin.

perfect grammar.

perfect vocabulary.

perfect home.

perfect pursuits.

perfect days.

perfect progress.

perfect success.

perfect love.

perfect happiness.

i'm always seeking to capture an essence - an essence of a taste, color, mood, memory, feeling, time, place.

i get so distracted by my quest for perfection that i forget the present.

i put off happiness saying, "i'll be happy when..." "i'll be happy if..."

what about "i'll be happy now"?

under all circumstances?

with or without perfection?


  1. Happiness is just perfect in and of itself. Choosing happiness is a wonderful choice, I think. By the way your 'thank you' card made me smile today. Thank you! (Is it odd to thank someone for a thank you card?);)

  2. This is so true. Sometimes I forget to be contented with what ever I have now. I always think I need just that little bit extra to PERFECT everything. But maybe perfection is a state of mind and a standard that we can tweak to be happy every day. I think you are perfect enough:)

  3. I feel your pain. But it is so worth being happy with now! and you have so many wonderful things to be happy about - your blog is testimony to that :)

  4. I feel your pain. But it is so worth being happy with now! and you have so many wonderful things to be happy about - your blog is testimony to that :)

  5. completely understandable. it's hard to be satisfied with just today--- the mundane. it's enjoying the simple stuff that counts. i think you do that quite well.
    p.s. you're gorgeous: personality and all.

  6. O.M.G can I say ditto a hundred times?? This is def. one of my problems. I think its because of the household I grew up in... perfection got you attention. Its so hard not to compare too! So hard! Living in the moment for the moment is a daily struggle! But I try and I think most days thats good enough! :)))

  7. Perfection is a myth and the quest to find it a curse.

  8. It is good to always be striving for something, as other wise we just get stuck in ruts. But if you are looking and only happy with perfection, well then you will never be truly happy.

  9. i struggled with that in high school, but i was so unhappy. it took some time, but i feel so blessed! you should, too! you do have the perfect life! you just got a job, perfect boyfriend, perfect place. it's all in our head! :)

  10. oh i forgot to mention! we are also our worse critics!

  11. it's a lifelong work to bring myself back into the moment and feel it's intense joy. it's back and forth and again and again.

  12. I very much understand these cravings and desires. Just on the drive home from work today I was thinking about this VERY thing. Something triggered a thought and I was just going on and on in my imagination about all the things that would make me happy and make my life perfect.

    But it was weird. All of the sudden I was able to snap out of it and just be content in the moment.

    My wish / hope / prayer for you today (and always) is a restful peace and contentment.

    Thanks for sharing your struggles, too!

  13. You should check out the website www.37days.com. Patti Digh has an amazing way at making you think, stop and just be.

    it is such a struggle sometimes though! :) chin up!

  14. I used to be that way, and then I thought, "What is perfect? Who defines it? Can it be defined? If so, is my definition of perfect wrong?"

    All that thinking gave me fits, so I decided to give it up and just try to be happy, not perfect.

    Of course, what is happy...

  15. you seem perfect to me! :)and amen, i know what you're going through. for the most part i'm happy, but i'm always envisioning this life where i'll be doing something different "someday". i want to make NOW my "someday".

  16. i have a similar thing- i always live in fast forward, thinking about whats to come- and forget to live in the present. and just enjoy

  17. i like this...i seek perfection as well...although i am to accept that which i cannot change...i have accepted i will never look the way i wish nor have that perfect pre baby bod again...here is to being happy now!!!

  18. so true!! I'm the same way. Always setting myself up for disappointment. I need to learn to enjoy the present for what it is.

  19. hmmm...this sounds like somebody else that i know...
    i think that it helps when you know that others are perfectionists too. i am always looking for the better in myself...which can be good, but is often bad (like you said) when you can't live in the now
    working on it now.
    thanks for your blog...it cheers me up everyday

  20. Yes, be happy NOW! In this moment. I had a huge eye opener this week. One of my good friends boyfriend went missing. And I can't imagine her pain. I can't imagine hearing from Alex, kissing him goodbye, then all of a sudden not knowing where he is, where he's sleeping, if he's ok, not being able to call and hear his voice. It makes me cry just thinking about it. So be happy in this moment, with the people that surround you, because you don't know when that will be taken away...

    And please pray for his safe return.

  21. I completely relate to this beautiful piece of writing.
    'perfect pursuits' struck a chord.

  22. hi real quick.

    two things come to mind.

    that perhaps, we were designed to crave perfection and the next to aim us towards heaven? maybe thats over-spiritualizing . . .

    and yes, contentment in present circumstances. i think that's a discipline worth practicing. to combat our natural inclination to let anticipation rob us of the joy we could be taking in the present. there's got to be a balance.

    i think you're great.


  23. Sigh -- I TOTALLY understand.
    It's hard to be a perfectionist -- but sometime, yes, you just have to be happy with the now!

  24. (: I guess contentment is the hardest thing to seek. just because! But don't worry, we're all learning! (: <3 xx

  25. Take comfort in these comments. So many people have the same struggles that you do. I try to remember that because it helps me feel a little less crazy and a little more hopeful that I'll work my way through it.

  26. I love that line in "The Hours" where Meryl Streep's character says to her daughter that when she was first married, she thought, "This is the beginning of happiness." She said, she wished she had known, "It turns out, that was happiness." I hope you can enjoy these moments because someday you'll look back and think how happy you were and didn't even realize it. Your imperfection is perfection, my lovely.

    PS) I got that swim suit in the mail today!!! Thank you! I LOVE IT!

  27. Remember Darling, Tomorrow never comes...for it is always today...
    You are perfect, with perfect body,hair,skin,grammar,vocabulary,home,pursuits,days,progress,success,love, happiness...all you have NOW is perfect for you in this moment.
    Perfect is the word, you are the action....enjoy the action (you) of today!! Love and Light

  28. Jasmine,

    I can totally commiserate. I am an open perfectionist. It's something I constantly struggle with. Some day are better than other. Check out an entry I wrote on my blog regarding perfectionism. I think it might help you in the manner it helped me.


    Warmest Regards,


  29. Jasmine, thank you for writing this post! I can completely completely relate to this. Although I've never put it into words, my quest for perfection sometimes takes over my quest to be happy in the moment. It's so difficult to just be happy at the present time, and to accept if things don't go the perfect way...they're usually better because of that anyway! Thanks again, you put my feelings into such a nice succint post.

  30. i used to have really high expectations - thinking that will make me happy - but after huge disappointments, i've learned to settle and appreciate what i have now. Maybe it's good or maybe it is bad but at least i am happy. Happy Friday lovely!

  31. WOW.
    Are you sure you didn't just describe me?!
    Haha, but seriously, I TOTALLY feel you!
    It's a daily struggle.
    I think the hardest part is recognizing the impediments to happiness, and once we do that we can more effectively tackle them!
    I'm workin on it!

  32. I was always taught, You are perfect just as you are, at every stage of life, as long as you keep growing. Like a flower is perfect at every stage (even when the bulbs are quietly sleeping), as long as it keeps blossoming.

    p.s. I love it when bloggers get real about life and ignite uplifting discussions in the comments! We all need to be reminded we are not alone in our struggles.

  33. "perfect pursuits"- I like that...

    It is so very easy to get wrapped up in thoughts of better times ahead. I'm 100% guilty of this as well. It's so nice to stop and enjoy the moment, but I have to definitely make a conscious effort to do this...

  34. this list. this, in an of itself--this aknowledgement--this is perfection

  35. I know exactly what you mean. I feel this way all the time, but it's funny because my house is a mess and I'm behind on everything, and I can't cook... basically I'm a contradiction to what I strive for. I think life is enough, just how it is. If only I could let go... if only you could let go and we could both just be happy with life as is!

  36. Girlie, I know exactly what you mean. My life exactly! That's something I've been working on for quite some time. Let me know if you figure it out!

  37. Oh my, if that isn't the constant struggle of our lives? Sometimes I think maybe that is the meaning of life - finding a way to be content in the here & now, not imagining life to better in the "future" where everything is perfect (aka Martha Stewart house, etc).

  38. so very inspiring.

    i'm having one of those i want to be perfect moments today, and it's not quite turning out the way i want.

    thanks for the encouragement to remember how blessed i am.


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