some of the ceremony

i got my laptop back last night! phewww! those few days without it were tough. i really love this little guy.

anyway, wedding details! the wedding! it's going to be on sunday, 9 january, 2011. 6 months away!

i'll start by sharing just a few details for our ceremony.

we found a little park yesterday in beverly hills for the ceremony. we're going to do it ninja style - sneak in, stake out, set up, get married, and get out. we're going for simplicity with the ceremony in order to save money. we want it feel really intimate, casual, & communal.

we are getting married under a huge, gorgeous, weepy tree. it's perfect. it's going to be like a picnic, basically. instead of chairs, i'm going to collect quilts in different colors & patterns and spread them out on each side of the aisle (the "aisle" will be defined by flower petals - no runner).

i'll have pillows scattered on the blankets, and each blanket will have a picnic basket with some snacks in it. i'm thinking bread, cheese, fruit, sparkling water - just a little something to tide everyone over 'til the reception. i don't want anyone to go hungry at my wedding!

i will also be collecting crates to scatter throughout the seating for older guests who don't want to sit on the ground.

we aren't going to be able to have any amps or speakers, so i'm seeing about getting a friend to play an instrument for the processional & recessional. (i've got my fingers crossed for a friend who is an insanely talented trumpet player. i hope he says yes!)

we took a little video of the park when we found it, so i'll share that once i upload it.

that's it for now! we are already starting to experience so much generosity from some really talented people. i can't wait to share more on that later when i have more time. sometimes people really surprise you. i have a feeling this wedding is going to change my life in more ways than one.

i love this picture.

my computer is currently at the doctor's (for some routine maintenance), so i will be brief today. (i'm on levi's ancient, detestable, SLOOOOW computer right now.)

this is a photo from our engagement party a couple-few weeks ago. levi was saying a few words to our friends & family. i love it.



i'm wearing my great great great great grandmother's wedding beads. she wore them when she got married in 1830! my grandma gave them to me on my 16th birthday as a special keepsake. i treasure them. that was the first time i wore them, & it felt really special. i plan on wearing them again at our second engagement party this coming weekend!

keep your fingers crossed that my computer will be healthy again by tomorrow!

how does friday come so quickly?

highlights & things that happened this week...give or take a couple days:

1. giada, herself, responded to me on twitter!!!! i was so beyond excited. I LOVE HER.

2. my friend, kathleen, sent me the shirt i wanted for my birthday in the mail! you can see it here. it's so cute & soft!

3. i had lots of fun coffee dates with my little sister...one of which included multiple people coming up to us & telling us how much we look alike. we're always getting double takes...like people are trying to figure out if we're twin sisters with a really noticeable height difference or something.

4. i really enjoyed running through california adventure with my fiancé, trying to catch each other...basically taking advantage of our last couple years of being stroller-free before we have babies.

5. finished the fourth percy jackson book. in the bath tub. with a snack.

6. i added another embarrassing moment to my list of mortifying memories - dancing around south coast plaza and then FALLING like a total geek in front of all the people walking by. it hurt my pride and my knee.

7. i covered 3/4 of my full length mirror with a towel so that i couldn't critically examine my body every 3 seconds. it's helping.

8. the bachelorette.

9. peanut butter & jelly sandwiches.

10. found some new, fun people to follow on twitter...i'm so bad at finding new people to follow on there! i might need some recommendations...

11. and a few other things that i hope to share next week!

my blog plan for next week is to share some of the details of our wedding. really cool things are starting to happen! i hope you all have lovely weekends!

i used to love disneyland.

ohhhh, disneyland. i loved you for so long, but i think my appreciation of you will have to be put on hold until levi & i have children.

we could only handle 4 hours there...and in FOUR hours, we only went on one ride - the teacups.

despite the fact that this was the trip that made me finally accept that disneyland has lost its appeal for me, levi & i had a really good time. we just enjoyed being together, pointing out all the extra cute kids, and commenting on how insanely busy the park was.

we left around 6:00 but decided to come back for the 11:15 showing of world of color at california adventure. the show was only 10 days old on the day we went. it was AMAZING. like holy crap amazing. i cried during the little mermaid part and had a goofy grin on my face for everything else. we absolutely loved it. and we are FOR SURE going back again this summer JUST to see the show again. (we have a few different people who can sign us in...it's very convenient.) if you have a chance to see this show, please do. you won't regret it.

he's so great

ah, i'm back from the birthday abyss!

this was a pretty mellow birthday for me. levi had to work, and we don't really have any money, but i had a really great day! levi was very efficient with the time we did have together and filled it with my favorite foods & lots of fun, thoughtful surprises.

we started the morning with my favorite pastries - orange danishes.

the thing about these pastries is that they're really hard to get. he had to special order them for me a few days in advance and then drive about 40 minutes to pick them up. ugh, he's so sweet. and the danishes were incredible.

the "ribbon" on my presents was wire.

i had lunch with a friend while levi got ready for work at home. i called to ask him if he would mind if i bought some peonies for the house (this is how broke we are right now - haha!), and he said that it probably wouldn't be a good idea. no problem. i didn't mind. turns out, levi was driving away from the flower shop when i called with peonies for me! he put them all around the house for me to find later.

i spent the day relaxing on my own, reading, walking; it was really nice. when levi got home, we had coffee together and picked up some of my favorite treats down on 2nd street - including my current favorite - happy hippos! i love those things. (happy hippos are imported from europe - germany or italy, i think. they're hippo-shaped biscuits filled with milk & hazelnut cream.)

my present to levi was letting him watch the nba finals without making a peep...i kinda wanted to watch too. after the game, we made dinner together - delicious burgers with bleu cheese butter & watercress and terra blue potato chips. we served it on the fancy dishes.

on monday, levi took me to disneyland. one of his clients was able to sign us in for free. and that's a post for another day 'cause this one is getting kinda long!

thank you all so much for the birthday wishes! it was a great day (week, month, etc.)!

happy birthday to me!

it's my birthday!!!

levi's been sneaking around all week, and now i get to find out what he was up to. yay!

(photo from my birthday last year at my mom's house - banana chocolate chip cupcakes with chocolate marshmallow frosting. amazing.)

x + y = jasmine

i am the result of a rational & logical mind raised in chaos & confusion.

tomorrow

tomorrow, i turn 28.

levi has some fun things planned for me between tomorrow and monday; some are surprises, some are not. i'm excited!!

i feel a little unprepared for this birthday. usually, i start a countdown about a month in advance. this year, i don't even have a wish list!

so let's remedy that with a birthday wish list (some items are imaginary):

1. stacey's amazing handbag (you could throw in those shoes too).

2. olivia's magical trip to europe.

3. maybe some of her caramel brownies with sea salt too.

3. this shirt

4. a mysterious deposit of $3,000-5,000 to magically appear in our bank account for our wedding

5. everything on our honeymoon registry.

6. lots of happy hippos, licorice laces, & dark salted caramels.

7. both of these anthro skirts (especially the first one) that i kick myself for not buying when i worked there. i haven't been able to find them on ebay. so sad.

8. oh, and world peace.

fridge pic!

this picture of me & my sister is my favorite thing on the fridge right now.

what kinds of things do you put up on your refrigerator?

happy anniversary, home!

one year ago, today, levi & i packed up this grimy, little truck & moved into our current home.

i can't believe we've been here for a year!

so much has changed, but i still love this little place.

it's the first place that has felt like home for both of us in a long time.

this place will always be special to us. it will be a sad day when we have to say goodbye.

i love my home, and i love the man i share it with.

thisiswhathappenswhenimissacounselingsession

(i wrote this a few nights ago. i have since been back to my counselor & feel much better.)

sometimes i feel boring. i feel like there's a protective barrier of ice in my brain, separating my conscious from my sub-conscious. i don't allow myself to dive into the depths of my mind anymore. instead, i tiptoe across the surface, peering down into the velvety, rich layers below. the abyss intrigues me; it beckons me. i want to go back there, to a place so terrifically familiar; a place where i used to dwell for days, weeks, & months at a time, shrouding myself in the things that grow down there, sinking further & further, stretching out farther & deeper, letting the deep envelop me, floating in the intoxicating, dangerous waters of my mind. i was so deep that i felt my soul. i thought i was getting closer to the core of it all, but it was too much for me. my ears would start to pound, my eyes bulged, my lungs screamed. it was terrifying. i would break the surface, gasping for the safety of the shallow, relieved to breathe again but devastated that i had come so close only to fail. so i have learned to stay away from those depths that i'm so drawn to. it's safer to only scratch the surface, maybe dip my toe in when i find a crack in the ice. but nothing more. i'd be lying if i said i didn't miss that place though. my soul weeps for it. i ache. i want to feel everything again. i want to get to that place right before it becomes too much. i want to stretch my limbs until i feel like i'll be torn apart. i want back inside those deep, dark, unpredictable layers that have threatened to swallow me up, time & time again.

challenge accepted

so here's what happened.

levi & i had a way to pay for our wedding & honeymoon. it was all set and ready to go. we never intended to spend more than $5,000-8,000 on the wedding, so our ideas never got out of control.

and i have always intended to basically do everything myself, including the food. (i know. i'm crazy.)

but life is unpredictable, and sometimes things just happen.

no one knows that better than we do.

so here's what happened - as of now, we no longer have a way to pay for the wedding.

i don't want to go into what happened because i really just want to let it go and move forward. but i will say this - we are okay. we're fine. neither one of us has a gambling, drug, or alcohol addiction. no one needs major surgery. we didn't lose it in the stock market or through bad investments.

like i said before, life just happens. some things are out of your control. and that's just the way it is. you can either excessively mourn your losses and dwell on the things that don't happen. or you can accept it and move on - find another way.

i am choosing the latter. i will find another way because this wedding is very important to me. i have been dreaming about my wedding since i was 12 and got my first wedding magazine. i have been planning, writing down ideas, saving pictures, dreaming. i'm not going to skip the wedding. i know i would regret it. it's a rite of passage and a celebration. it's a chance to share our love with our friends and family.

we will make this wedding happen.

so here's the challenge that has been extended to me - have an amazing wedding with a very tiny, unknown budget.

everyone talks about budget weddings in articles and blogs saying things like "budget wedding under $10,000."

yeah. that's not a budget wedding. i know that it is according to today's standards (remember, i was a wedding coordinator. i've seen it all.), but $10,000 is a lot of money.

the good news is that i already have my dress. and i'm creative. we already have a lot of good ideas. i know we can do this. i don't know how yet, but i'm going to trust that it will happen.

the major costs will be:

1. reception site

(we found one for $800, including a killer sound system, tables, chairs, dance floor, etc.)

2. dress alterations & my bolero

3. photographer

(this is the one that i'm the most nervous about. we really really want great photos.)

4. food

(which i will still be doing myself)

so are you guys ready?? i'm going to show everyone that we can put on an incredible wedding for close to nothing. watch me go!!

registry: check!

we registered this weekend.

it really wasn't what i expected.

do you know how hard it is to pick out silverware, towels, & a food processor??

it's hard.

so we had to goof around to deal with the stress of it all. (yeah, life is so hard. not.)

we really did only register for silverware, towels, & a food processor.

our main registry is a honeymoon registry that i made! you can check it out here if you'd like to make something similar. we want to go to france, italy, & greece for our honeymoon! i seriously cannot wait. it's going to be amazing.

cheap, healthy, & DELICIOUS

i made the best dinner the other night.

it was an italian omelette - cheap, healthy, super easy to make, and soooooo good.

i have to share the recipe!

i got the base of the recipe from giada at home, but i decided what to put in it. it's different from a french omelette because you bake it in pyrex instead of cooking it on the stove and flipping it. it's sort of more like a quiche. you can add whatever you like. the one giada made on the show had onions, sausage, red pepper, and gruyere cheese. just take the base recipe and add your favorite fillings we'll probably add fresh basil next time. yummmmmm.

vegetable italian omelette

ingredients:

- 8 eggs

- 1/3 cup milk (i used part heavy whipping cream, part 1%)

- cup and a half shredded swiss cheese (reserve 1/2 cup for top)

- 2 cloves garlic, chopped or minced

- salt & pepper to taste

- italian flat leaf parsley (about 2 tablespoons chopped)

chopped pretty small:

- 1 bunch broccoli (i used crowns only)

- 2 zucchini

- 1 vine ripened tomato, chopped

directions:

preheat oven to 425.

sauté garlic in olive oil

add broccoli

add zucchini

add tomato

salt & a little bit of pepper

sauté long enough (don't overcook because it will bake too)

beat eggs & milk together. add cheese & fillings. put in greased square pyrex. pour mixture into pan. top with cheese. bake 25 minutes.

serve hot!

i'm getting a bit eccentric.

this eating in the bath tub/shower thing is getting a little out of control.

i do it so regularly now that we keep a little table next to the tub.

the other night, i ate my entire dinner in there.

also, i find it a little troubling that all i had for dinner that night was coke, terra blues potato chips, and roasted asparagus. (i'm not gonna lie...i didn't finish my asparagus & had a second round of chips.)