24 September, 2010

this week.


i'm feeling rather disconnected this week. do you ever have weeks like that? where you almost get to a numb place void of feeling, emotion, passion, and inspiration.

it's not like i feel bad. not at all. i just don't really feel much of anything. it's off and on of course, but, for the most part, this is how i've felt. i'm pretty sure it's a result of being overwhelmed and stressed.

i don't really like it, but i think it's important for me to just "be" in this place right now. why fight it? i spend so much of my energy fighting, forcing, controlling, and "fixing" my feelings, thoughts, reactions, everything. it's really exhausting, and it wears down my self-esteem and confidence.

i never just go with the flow or accept things the way they come. honestly, this can be a huge strength in some ways. i refuse to settle, and i like to go after what i want. but sometimes, i just need to let go and simply exist in the moment.

don't you wish there was a pill for that? i do. i kinda wish there was a pill for everything. :)

here are some photos that i keep staring at lately. levi took them on his iPhone when we went to the huntington library a few weeks ago. i'm not sure why, but they always make me feel calm and happy when i see them. i think they're sort of appropriate for this post.


(i thought it was really funny that levi kept taking pictures of these guys' butts.)

(this is almost exactly what i picture when i go to my "happy/peaceful place" in my mind. i just wanna run around & dance through that field all by myself.)


okay, that's all i've got today. i'm gonna try to give myself a relaxing, nurturing weekend. i hope you're able to do the same.

comments:

Megan Licious said...

these are beautiful! i want to go to this place :) i hope you get out of your funk, but i'm glad you didn't decide to fight it.

i'm loving all the wedding update posts!

our little love nest said...

Awesome little post. I tend to fight my lackadaisical moments but it is probably just better to go with it...especially when you have butts to look at;)

Gina said...

it would be pretty nice if there was a pill for everything ;) i think one day in the near future we will!

p.s the butts are funny hhhahha

paddle to shore said...

I know exactly what you mean. I've had the most off week. Skipped 2 of my classes, still did my homework but sent it via email because I just didn't feel like dealing with it. I'm not sure what it is but hopefully everything's back to normal next week.. I hope

Unknown said...

just don't fret about anything and you'll have a nice weekend. thanks for sharing the pictures.

vanessa said...

i mentioned you on my blog today :]
http://gregandvanessa.blogspot.com/2010/09/i-love-fill-in-blank.html

Federico Panarello said...

I love everything here. You have such great style, love your blog!

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