24 September, 2010

this week.

i'm feeling rather disconnected this week. do you ever have weeks like that? where you almost get to a numb place void of feeling, emotion, passion, and inspiration.

it's not like i feel bad. not at all. i just don't really feel much of anything. it's off and on of course, but, for the most part, this is how i've felt. i'm pretty sure it's a result of being overwhelmed and stressed.

i don't really like it, but i think it's important for me to just "be" in this place right now. why fight it? i spend so much of my energy fighting, forcing, controlling, and "fixing" my feelings, thoughts, reactions, everything. it's really exhausting, and it wears down my self-esteem and confidence.

i never just go with the flow or accept things the way they come. honestly, this can be a huge strength in some ways. i refuse to settle, and i like to go after what i want. but sometimes, i just need to let go and simply exist in the moment.

don't you wish there was a pill for that? i do. i kinda wish there was a pill for everything. :)

here are some photos that i keep staring at lately. levi took them on his iPhone when we went to the huntington library a few weeks ago. i'm not sure why, but they always make me feel calm and happy when i see them. i think they're sort of appropriate for this post.

(i thought it was really funny that levi kept taking pictures of these guys' butts.)

(this is almost exactly what i picture when i go to my "happy/peaceful place" in my mind. i just wanna run around & dance through that field all by myself.)

okay, that's all i've got today. i'm gonna try to give myself a relaxing, nurturing weekend. i hope you're able to do the same.


  1. these are beautiful! i want to go to this place :) i hope you get out of your funk, but i'm glad you didn't decide to fight it.

    i'm loving all the wedding update posts!

  2. Awesome little post. I tend to fight my lackadaisical moments but it is probably just better to go with it...especially when you have butts to look at;)

  3. it would be pretty nice if there was a pill for everything ;) i think one day in the near future we will!

    p.s the butts are funny hhhahha

  4. I know exactly what you mean. I've had the most off week. Skipped 2 of my classes, still did my homework but sent it via email because I just didn't feel like dealing with it. I'm not sure what it is but hopefully everything's back to normal next week.. I hope

  5. just don't fret about anything and you'll have a nice weekend. thanks for sharing the pictures.

  6. i mentioned you on my blog today :]

  7. I love everything here. You have such great style, love your blog!


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