05 November, 2009

i have worn many hats

for the last month or so, i have been looking back at all the different things i have done & tried throughout my 27 years on this planet.

here's a list.

1. i was on the king koopa show in the first grade.
2. i played volleyball & tennis for my high school. i also hurdled & high jumped.
3. i had a career as a wedding coordinator from the age 0f 20-24 approximately.
4. i have babysat and nannied since i was 10.
5. i got my first job when i was 12 at a concession stand on the beach.
6. i taught preschool dance classes. one of my classes was a group of 8 two year olds. insanity!
7. i frequently stood up at conferences and voiced the position of my country on topics such as female genital mutilation, child hunger, oil, nuclear weapons, and other global issues in model united nations. my high school had a reputation as one of the top three schools in the nation.
8. i worked at a flower shop.
9. i used to serve genuine afternoon tea at a little french tea garden.
10. i sold time share units.
11. i've had jobs at a bike store, jamba juice, and a $15 clothing store...all within walking distance of my house.
12. i worked at a bathing suit store where i sometimes had to walk around in a bikini top and a sarong.
13. i sold makeup at macy's and beautiful clothes at anthropologie.
14. i went to esthetician school FORTY hours a week for 4 months, passed my state board exam, and received my esthetician's license last december.
15. i've worked in the following types of offices: cardiologist, gastroenterologist, optometrist, general practitioner, school district, construction, and web-based vitamin store.
16. i helped start a ministry.
17. i almost finished an education degree.
18. i've accumulated more than 140 college units...still no degree. my major? school.

and after all of this, what have i learned?

i'm not quite sure.

i've learned that i like to try new things and that i haven't really liked any of the hats i've worn enough to keep them on for very long...obviously.

i've learned that i'm kind of embarrassed by my lengthy resume. i feel like it shows a lack of commitment. i look at it and see that i'm restless and haven't really found satisfaction in anything i've tried. it makes me feel like a misfit. i'm like the little elf who wants to be a dentist...except that the little elf knows he wants to be a dentist. i don't really know what i want to be...besides a mom. but it would be nice to maybe make some money in the next two or three child-free years i have left.

right now, i don't have a plan. i don't like not having a plan. i'm a planner. i'm really really good at it...i mean my longest, most successful career to date was as a professional planner, for crying out loud! flying by the seat of my pants makes me really nervous. it makes me feel uneasy and unsettled. it makes me generate ideas for potential plans and goals at rapid speeds . i have honestly considered and researched six different majors this month. one of them was fitness. fitness?? yes, fitness. what would i do with that, you say? i have no idea.

so where does this leave me? it leaves me exactly where i started...which really isn't a very bad place to be. i enjoy my life. i love levi with all my heart. we share an adorable apartment and wake up next to each other every morning. i am going to have his beautiful babies one day, and he fully supports my plan and desire to stay home and raise them. i enjoy school. i get to dance four days a week. i am learning to speak a beautiful language. i'm reading and discussing books with my brilliant literature teacher. i'm working on my backhand. and as far as the finances go - we don't have a lot of money, but we certainly have enough for right now.

so all i can do right now is take my life and live it the best way i know how. i can live each moment with faith and love - faith in the fact that God has a plan for me and that sometimes it's okay for me to fly by the seat of my pants, and love for God, for levi, for myself, for my family, for gretel, for lily, for my neighbors, for my friends, for each and every one of you, for the people in my classes, the people i share a bus with, the people who serve me coffee, the people i see sleeping on the streets, the people going to bed without enough food, the people i see every day, and the people i will never meet, living in countries i will never visit.

i think that's a pretty good plan.


  1. I hear you! My guy and i are almost 30 and we still feel like youngins when it comes to having our grown-up lives in order. Actually, I think a lot of people my age are dealing with this. And they made a fantastic movie about it - Away We Go. But we are all still happy. Maybe it's just a matter of changing societal ideals about what "grown-up" means.

  2. Once again, I feel like you've taken the words right out of my mouth. I started college at 18 certain of what I wanted to do with my life. That all totally changed after my first year and I had gone through three majors by the end of the 1st semester Junior year. I took time off to stop wasting money while I figured out what I wanted to be. During that time, I became what was MOST important to me, a mom and now a wife. 5 years later, I still don't know what I want to be outside of the home, but I'm really happy with where I am right now. I think that's an accomplishment in itself. There's no reason to settle for doing something you don't enjoy!

  3. You have quite possibly the most awesome list of jobs ever. Lol. I'd love to have a resume like yours! Don't be embarrased!

    You might not have a "real" plan yet, but you're doing something much greater: you're living, and you're learning. :) The experiences you've had are worth more than any college degree, or any bulleted plan.

    Be proud of your life, girl. I'm sure I'm not the only one that envies it.

    I hope you do find something you're comfortable with though, you sound like you want that. :)

    Best wishes from a loyal reader,

  4. This post was beautiful.
    Thank you.

  5. I was a member of the Model UN, too! :)
    Great post!

  6. What about party planning? You'd do well having dabbled in lots of different fields. :) And thats something you could still do once you have little ones on the side. :)

  7. I love this. Life is such an incredible journey isnt it?

  8. what an amazing and touching post.
    as a freshman in college, to me, your life sounds quite fascinitating and exciting.

  9. that is a wonderful plan!

    i know very few people who actually used their majors in their current field of work and even fewer who actually do something that they love. take your time and you will find your place:)

  10. I am the same way. My biggest dream growing up was to work for my hometown MLB team. I did that for two years, got bored, moved cross country, am bored again... and don't know where to go. I have about a two-month attention span when it comes to jobs.

  11. I forgot to tell you that you have a double tribute in my blog today:)

    your emo label just made me lol :)

  12. It's a wonderful plan. And...The King Koopa Show?! How have I never heard of this?!

    That's so odd...I LOVE Super Mario Bros and all odd things Nintendo...especially the bad TV shows. Where the heck WAS I?

  13. i like that though. that you've had all of these jobs, and all of these experiences. it shows you haven't merely settled for some inadequate placement, you're looking for adventure! a job that truely makes you happy. and trying a lot of things is not a bad thing. i want to try lots and lots of stuff before i look for an actual career. you have to go through a lot of crap before you get to the good stuff anyway! xo

  14. That sounds like a wonderful plan!
    And yeah you have worked a lot of jobs! :)

  15. I just want to let you know, I got my bachelor's degree in graphic design 3 years ago, and I still dream of going back to school for completely different things. I want to go to culinary school, and maybe to go beauty school to learn Hair and Makeup. I want to do so many things...

    What I am trying to say is I understand what you're saying. Your plan is perfect. And this post was beautifully written...

  16. I finally finished my degree last year at age 47. I'm still planning. As long as you are planning and living, all is good. Enjoy!

  17. Whoa! You and I had simliar posts today. Yay for being a mom!!!! Sounds to be like the best career in the world! :)

  18. Oh yeah.... and I think you're stinkin' cool for doing all those things. I think the list is great!!! You've had so many neat experiences with all of them, I'm sure. Do you want to help me plan my wedding?? :)

  19. I'm in a similar place right now... I started college at 18 thinking I knew what I wanted to do, took a break, went back, took another break, went back... and now at 24, I am currently on my third (& hopefully last!) break. I really want to go back to school and this time around I have a clear idea of what path I want to take... right now it's just a matter of finding the time and, more important, the money to get me there. Good luck with your journey!

  20. I would be so proud to do all of the cool things you have done!! And a wedding planner? awesome!! xx

  21. I loved this post.

    I'm starting to feel like maybe I stuck with a plan too young. Maybe I should've tried MORE things in college. Like studying abroad - or trying to make it in NYC.

    Now that I'm older and more confident I feel like I should explore more things. Take a risk. Try something new. I just don't know what IT is yet. And I feel like I'm running out of time before Jeremy and I start making babies.

    Are you ever scared that you will be unsatisfied being a stay-at-home-mom?

  22. You know what I have been going through these past months. Being unemployed and without direction has been super hard for me, so I understand!

    I know you will figure it out, Jasmine. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow...but you're going to school, making progress and you have such a love for life. :)

  23. totally with you on the fact that the only career I'm really passionate about is raising a family with lots of love and a God-centered family at that. it does feel a bit like biding my time right now, but I'm trying to use these last couple years leading up to prepare my heart, my home, my wisdom, ha!

  24. Brilliant post Jasmine, Im really glad you wrote that.

    thanks for sharing. aaand obviously if I didnt know it already, you are amazing.

  25. Thank you so so so much for this... Ive been feeling like a failure as of late, because Im in the same situation, but really, its not that bad of a situation. Thanks! : )

  26. I love and admire your plan. I also admire how you are so aware of the people around you, the little things...I am not so much and you've been inspiring me.

    Whatever you do, you're going to be amazing, because you are amazing everyday. :)

  27. i am so glad there are others out there who feel disjointed. can i just say i totally admire you for being willing to just be out with all of that? thank you!

  28. love your plan & thank you for inspiring me. I've been feeling a bit lost lately too.
    LOVE reading your blog!! :)

  29. What a great post! God's plan is always perfect! Sometimes it is so hard to see the perfect-ness when we are in the midst of it, right?

  30. is it bad that i love your list? don't feel lost, feel accomplished. and for the record, i read every post about the second you publish it...i almost hate commenting though because i know you get like 50 telling you the same thing i'm probably telling you right now: you're awesome. keep perspective.

  31. also should note that i loved this post. especially the end. and that you put it under label "emo". hahaha.

  32. goodness -- busy girl!
    I should do a post like this too.. lots of silly little jobs in my past ;)

  33. i absolutely love your posts. every single one of them.. c:

  34. so i just attempted to leave a comment, and i'm not entirely sure that it posted..so, here goes again.

    i absolutely love your posts. every single one of them.


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