26 July, 2010

stress



my jaw hurts ALL the time from clenching it while i sleep...and probably throughout the day too.

i've been getting nauseating headaches EVERY single day.

i've been sleeping way too much - 10/11 hours per night.

i can't motivate myself to do all the things that are piling up on top of me.

i'm stressed.

STRESSED OUT.

a lot of my stress is probably from our rapidly approaching wedding that we don't how we're going to pay for.

and my past due tuition for school this fall.

ahahdahboiajbnairbhaoerhaawepgw9buwqp1jgbojvdngu4bhrjnj39w.

sorry. that was me rubbing my face all over the keyboard out of sheer frustration.

i'm trying to keep the faith. i really am.

levi & i both work. we try to make really wise choices with our money. we're doing the best we can do. i know everything always always works out for us in the end. but it's so hard not knowing how.

and, in the meantime, how the heck am i going to CALM DOWN?? i really am trying to relax. i'm trying to not worry about all this stuff, but it's almost like my stress is sub-conscious, like i have a stress layer in my brain & body that is protected from all reason & rationality. it's weird because i don't even feel like i'm stressed most of the time...but i know i am. i'm not unhappy or anything. but i see the effects of stress in my life right now.

so, i'm asking you:

how do you calm down & relax when stress is threatening to take over?

i'd love to hear some things that have worked for others because i'd really like to take a proactive approach to combating my stress. it would be a really great skill for me to learn. my jaw will thank me. and you!


30 comments:

  1. Yoga, girlfriend. For reals. Get de-stressed and BONUS: hot bod for the nuptials! :)
    Seriously though, with the teeth grinding at night--my doc told me to stick my tongue just slightly between my teeth when I go to sleep. It relaxes your jaw and also gets in the way of the grinding. Feels super weird at first, but it worked better than a mouthguard for me.

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  2. I second Yoga. I've had horrible bouts of anxiety all my life (panic attacks, the works) and nothing (not even anti anxiety meds) have helped the way yoga has. Not only does the physical aspect help me out in the moment, but the philosophy of doing all that you're able to and letting go of the rest, of *practice* over perfection and present moment over future has helped me immensely.

    best of luck from one stress ball to another.

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  3. Stress, how do i deal with stress, I don't know that i actually deal withit, I more push it around in my head until it get lost. i sing stupid annoying songs to drown it out and i sit with my feet in the air so all the blood goes to my head and Istretch...sometimes Iyell really loud where no one can hear or see me.sometimes i just friggin cry about in the shower, but mainly i just blowit off like the seasoned procrastinator that i am and tell myself.. if it doesn't go smooth, thenit wasn't ment to be.I live most of mylife now like this, if it seems like everything is against me, then let it be.. i'll do itdifferntly or something else entirely. I'm a firm believer in the power of the mind. tell your self how it will be focus on it and if its ment to be it willbe !everything wil be all right, it how you preceive it that makesit bad or good.

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  4. Stress, how do i deal with stress, I don't know that i actually deal withit, I more push it around in my head until it get lost. i sing stupid annoying songs to drown it out and i sit with my feet in the air so all the blood goes to my head and Istretch...sometimes Iyell really loud where no one can hear or see me.sometimes i just friggin cry about in the shower, but mainly i just blowit off like the seasoned procrastinator that i am and tell myself.. if it doesn't go smooth, thenit wasn't ment to be.I live most of mylife now like this, if it seems like everything is against me, then let it be.. i'll do itdifferntly or something else entirely. I'm a firm believer in the power of the mind. tell your self how it will be focus on it and if its ment to be it willbe !everything wil be all right, it how you preceive it that makesit bad or good.

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  5. I go running, and I run until my mind and body are tired. I don't come back until I've at least calmed down from whatever is troubling me.

    I may not have solved my problem, but I've focused enough to work through it. And, I get some good cardio in, too.

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  6. It always helps me to surround myself with positive things, things that inspire me and to read things of people that are worst off then me, I found a blog where a girls boyfriend was murdered the night he was going to purpose to her at her neighbors house, to read how she can over come that makes me think you can get through anyting!!

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  7. I am stress jaw-clencher/tooth grinder myself, so I feel your pain entirely! Some ways I deal with stress are by completely distracting myself - I sit down and watch a movie I know will take me someplace else, long quiet walks, or exercising with fun music until I'm too sweaty and tired to do anything else. :p I'm still working on other ways to de-stress and I'm contemplating yoga and meditation myself, so hopefully that helps too - I've heard it can work wonders! They're all distractions really... it takes time to just trust that whatever happens is for the best and to live in the moment. I struggle with that concept.

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  8. I posed this very same question to my Facebook friends a few weeks ago.

    About the jaw, the SAME exact thing happens to me. Fortunately I've had a mouth guard made and that helps tremendously.

    I'm pretty sure you understand the importance of exercise and all the chemical responses it stimulates and how that helps you sleep better and reduces stress responses in your body.

    And as cheesy as this sounds and as much as I hate bringing this stuff up in public forums, the only other thing I've really found that truly dissipates my stress is getting alone, turning on some worship music and either journaling or just being. For me, learning to rest in truth has been the one thing that REALLY gets to the root of the stress factor as opposed to just making me feel good for a few hours.

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  9. I journal to get all my thoughts out. Sometimes my writing doesn't make a lot of sense but it is a release.

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  10. i'm going through something similar.. well at least with the stress.. my boyfriend and i are moving to another city on saturday, but he's away doing air force work for 2 weeks so i'm moving us by myself. i'm so stressed! moving is so expensive!! i've realized recently (like, this week) that worrying about money is the surest way to go insane. It WILL work out! I promise! but to combat the stress I've been taking breaks and watching mindless tv, taking walks with my dog, doing yoga (this helps a lot) & the one thing I wish I could do is take a bath! (i don't have a tub.. blegh) that always helps me :)

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  11. Okay, as a girl with TONS of jaw problems myself... I can give you some great advice! First off... head to the drug store & buy a mouth guard. The cheapest ones are usually between $10-15. This might not last long, but it's a good fix for your jaw for right now! Also, try taking a Tylenol or Advil PM before bed (that makes you more tired & less likely to clench/grind). Also to destress -- yoga, deep breathing, massage your cheek muscles (this sounds stupid but works wonders). Good luck & I hope things get less stressful for you! Stress can lead to lifetime jaw problems, which is how I got my $1,000 a year issue of nightguards, etc. =]

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  12. Listening to music definitely helps me, whether it's religious or just inspirational, both work for me.

    Also, savoring a piece of dark chocolate never hurts :)

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  13. I too can empathise with your jaw and headache probs.I don't know if you can get it in the USA but my magic helper is Bach's rescue remedy. It's a natural blend of flower extracts that is never out of my reach when I'm anxious or stressed. A few drops on the Tongue or diluted in water and sipped is great. Google it and check out the pretty cool website. Good luck, Helen x ps I don't work for them or anything, I just love it!

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  14. oh god, i do that all the time too

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  15. i eat a lot of ice cream and think "it" can always be worse and at least im healthy. :)

    xoxo
    b

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  16. can I just tell you this reminds me 100% of how i felt before my wedding? And guess what? No, I didn't have EVERYTHING I dreamed of at my wedding...but I shopped and shopped and found such cheap things that I went with some great basic items and my wedding was a hit! and my pictures were great! and everyone thought it still unique and amazing...though I still wonder what they would've thought if I had really done it all...no reason crying over spilled milk right?
    my advice: shop, shop, shop for cheap things to decorate. make your own dress. do your own flowers (LA flower mart is a perfect place to spend the day before your wedding i must say). and if you splurge on anything? get a good photog (like http://jennkingphoto.blogspot.com/ , http://thedigitalorange.com/#the-digital-orange-photography-f49cd or http://burntexposureblog.com/ - just some plugs for some friends!)

    You're beautiful, have impecable taste and it's all going to be OK!!

    oh and if you're worried about food? try hitting up a taco vendor, that's what we did for $2 a head and our guests were sat-is-fied.

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  17. I wish I had advice for you! I'm too stressed... and my fall tuition is a HUGE reason for it. Oh that and my husband just got laid off and I have no job... stress = no good! Good luck!

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  18. I take a bath everyday and light tons of candles while I'm in there! I promise myself not to think of ANY of my responsibilities while I take my bath. It's my ten minutes to myself, and it seriously works wonders for me!!

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  19. oooooooh girl. i totally understand. i actually do the oversleeping/jaw clenching thing too (because of financial and school stress) and it's lead to terrible headaches.

    i agree that yoga really works. it's hard to make yourself commit to it every day (i definitely don't), but half an hour a day can make you feel so much better.

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  20. stop everything you are doing.

    take a deep breath.

    realize what it's like to be able to take that deep breath.

    notice how you feel.

    pay attention to what else your body feels. a breeze, something hot, etc.

    pay attention to noises you hear. a computer running. the tv on. music. people talking. etc.

    focus on everything around you. BE IN THE MOMENT. forget everything you know and everything you dont know. pay attention to your breath. pay attention to NOW.

    good luck!

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  21. A few things that help me. With the teeth grinding and jaw clenching (which I also do) go to the drug store and get one of the mouth guards. Try sleeping with it in. I sleep SO much better now that I have a mouth guard, so I think the few dollars will be worth it even though money is your major stresser right now.

    As far as the wedding goes, my friend who got married a month before me and I both found that repeating the motto "At the end of the day, we'll still be married" really helped us. As in, even thought it's supposed to pour down rain the entire week of the wedding "At the end of the day, we'll still be married." Or even though my soon to be sister-in-law is driving me crazy "At the end of the day, we'll still be married." Or, in your case, even though we have no idea how we're going to pay for this wedding "At the end of the day, we'll still be married."

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  22. To calm down my mind I...Exercise,PRAY, Yoga, Read, Watch "Happy Go Lucky"-that movie always puts me in a good mood. But the best thing that works is AS SOON as I get a neg thought in my mind, I quickly think of something positive!!
    Hope you feel better soon :-)

    laneewrites.blogspot.com

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  23. I was going to recommend the Rescue Remedy, but see that Helen has already done so. I know so many people who swear by that stuff. The doctor recommended it to my sister-in-law's sister when she was suffering from depression. It would be worth tracking down.

    I've actually been suffering the teeth grinding thing lately too - so badly that I've lost three bits of tooth :( I've an appointment at the dentist next week which I hope will help me out somehow. I had a mouthguard professionally made a few years ago but found I would take it out during my sleep. I put it in again last night for the first time in years but I guess my teeth have moved and all it did was hurt my mouth.

    There is no pain worse than dental pain!! Good luck with it all, some of the suggestions in the comments are really good. I'm going to be trying them out myself, I think.

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  24. meditation. 10 minutes in the morning. 10 minutes in the evening. nothing fancy, just sitting, breathing, concentrating on concentrating on nothing.

    it has been a good start for me and life-changing for my husband. for him, it sets the tone for his entire morning. he says he rushes less, doesn't snap at traffic, etc. and then that calm + peace + good attitude carries through the entire day. at night, it lets us decompress + leave the day behind so we can enjoy our time together.

    it's free. it's easy. i recommend trying it.

    xo, jessica
    http://jessicafulkerson.blogspot.com/

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  25. Go outside! When I'm stressed I try to go outside and spend time with my dog and my husband if our schedules match. Taking a walk or run lets me processs everything and get some frustation out of my body.
    Also, calling a friend that lets you just vent combined with dancing around to a favorite tune also seems to help.
    ~Betty
    P.S. I just discovered your blog recently...and love it!

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  26. Honestly, this sounds Awful but when I'm stressed I eat and it always seems to help in the moment;) But I'm sure exercise would be a smarter option.. so maybe go with what everyone else suggested lol

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  27. I've had the exact same problem with my jaw since I was little. I grind, I clench, and I wind up with horrendous headaches.
    For this, I recommend the two M's: a mouthguard, and Motrin. Luckily, you can get pretty great mouthguards at the drugstore now, and they won't cost more than ten bucks. Back when I needed one, I had to go to the dentist and have a mold made and it made a dent in my wallet (several hundred dollars worth of dent). And for headaches, Motrin is fantastic.

    As for relaxation, my therapist has taught me a great breathing technique-breath in to the count of four, out to the count of five. It really makes you conscious of your breath, and the deeper you breathe, the more you relax. Also, you should check this website out, it's saved my nerves more times than I care to mention: http://myinnerworld.com/. The woman who runs it has guided meditations on there that are fantastic.
    And one more thing-I find it always makes me feel better and less stressed if I take a long, hot shower, or have a long soak in the tub, cook myself a really nice meal, and curl up in bed with a good fantasy book.
    Hope some of this helps!

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  28. Just remind yourself that you're making a story. And every story has a little bit of conflict in it - without it it would be a boring story.

    Then move on. Don't waste your life on bad energy. So you're story might look something like "We were broke but crazy in love..." rather than "we were broke and then I cried." Right?

    xo!

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  29. i find that usually when i'm stressed, it's cause i need a plan. you should check out dave ramsey...it will change your life:
    http://www.daveramsey.com/

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  30. oh, stress is the worst! it really is. it takes over your life when it's the LAST thing you need! okay i'm not sure if nobody's said this yet, i hiiiighly recommend taking the kava kava herb! you can buy yogi kava tea at regular grocery stores usually... but we always order it in pill form, too. it has natural calming effects and it's basically a miracle worker! so do that and then take a bath, breathe in some lavender, and say your prayers :) you can do it!

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