01 June, 2011


about a year and a half ago, i blogged about wanting more friends in my life.

after i wrote that post, i started focusing on friendship more. i started thinking about what i actually wanted and how i could get it. i started pursuing more friendships and nurturing the ones i already had. and i started praying about it.

two things happened:

1. i lost two friendships that i thought were the most important in my life.
2. i gained more friendships than i know what to do with.

i think the whole process of seeking friendship really caused me to analyze what friendship means to me. how did i want my friends to treat me? what kind of priority would i give them in my life? how did i want to treat my friends? how often did i need to socialize? how deep did i want to allow these relationships to go?

i learned a lot from focusing on friendship. i learned to have more respect for myself when it comes to my friends. i learned that i shouldn't hang onto friendships that make me feel bad about myself. just because i had been friends with some people since childhood didn't mean that i had to remain friends with them forever. people grow apart. they find other people that mean more to them, and that's okay. i need to feel valued in a friendship. i need to know that my friends respect me and want to pursue a relationship with me. if i put up with anything less than that, the consequences are my fault.

while losing friends is a really sad experience, i actually felt really empowered by it. i was dumping energy into people who didn't value me as much as i valued them. cutting those ties freed up energy i could place somewhere else...

...and i did!

i honestly feel like my life is overflowing with friendship now. i don't feel lonely anymore. i don't feel like i have sooooo much time and nobody besides levi and my family to spend it with. now i wish i had more time to give to my friends! i really cherish them, and i hope they know how much i love them. i'm going to focus on loving my friends more this month and being supportive of all the things they want to do and accomplish.

did you hear that? i just unofficially declared june national friendship month (this is on top of it being national jasmine's birthday month), so go out there and show your friends a little extra love! :)


  1. i love you and this post especially :). and i cherish your friendship.

    ....annnnd I LOVE YOU WAHHHHAAA

  2. i love everything about this post! it's wonderful that you have been so blessed through your re-evaluation process!

  3. aww!!
    this is so so cute!

    I can't wait to hangout after exams.


  4. This post is perfect, and so are you! Friends for life!

  5. I'm going through something like this too - I moved halfway across the country about a year ago and I'm lucky to have my husband, his family, and my best friend since birth who also happens to live here (random, I know.) But other than that, I don't have oodles of friends here yet, and I'm also evaluating some of my old friends who live far away and kind of noticing which relationships are surviving that and which aren't. Anyway happy you have made so many friends! I've always had tons of friends wherever I am, so I'm cherishing the handful I've made here and still searching to feel like you do :)

  6. It can be so tough cutting out people, but also so very beneficial! I've been there. And I've made it a goal of mine to put more effort into my friendships lately as well! It definitely pays off!

  7. Loving this post! I've been thinking a lot about friendships lately too (I was actually praying for more friends myself just a few months ago!) and your post really hit home. thanks. ;)

  8. Friendships are ever evolving! Much like your marriage, the ones that stay, are ones you learn TOGETHER how to grow with each other... in each new phase of life. Those that don't evolve... die... and that is ok.

    Glad you found a few new ones this year!

  9. This post is very inspiring. It made me realize the meaning of friendship.

  10. This post is very inspiring. It made me realize the meaning of friendship.

  11. I loved everything about this post, I'm going through the same thing at the moment, except for my best friend in the world, I don't really have a lot of meaningful friendships, I go out with these people, and adore spending time with them, but it's not like I can tell them everything, of phone them when I just want to talk... I think I have to do the same thing, and think about my friendships and the meaning of it. Thanks for the inspirations, I'll definitely dedicate this month to my friendships and the meaning of them...

  12. Perfect post. You touched on everything important about friendships and value of one's self. I couldn't have said it any better. You Rock Lady!

  13. So I have a question for you, because I have been going through something similar to what you first blogged about. How did you go about making new friends? It's hard when you are not in school anymore and work with the same people. Please, give me your wisdom of how you went about finding your friends that you have made.

  14. Re-typing comment, stupid Firefox.

    Like Samnhal, I want more details. I find this post very interesting and timely as I was thinking about some of these same things. I'm going on four years out of high school and I still have the same girlfriends from high school. Yet I feel quite disconnected from them. Their friendships leave me feeling empty and I don't think it's supposed to be like that. First, I'm not sure how to go about "disconnecting." Second, I'm not sure how to cultivate new friendships. I think I'm always waiting and hoping certain people will pursue friendships with me. But perhaps I need to be the one to initiate something. How does one know?! Haha

    Please, share more of your friendship wisdom with us...

    Great post!

  15. This is an excellent point. Dumping friends sounds so bad, but if they aren't feeding our lives with positive energy, we'd be better off without them! Bravo for being brave enough to realize that.

    Finding new friends that I can really connect with is the hard part for me. I'm naturally an introvert so don't often feel the need for friends. When I do though, I want them to be trustworthy, gentle, creative souls. Where do you find people like that when you want them?


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