about a year and a half ago, i blogged about wanting more friends in my life.
after i wrote that post, i started focusing on friendship more. i started thinking about what i actually wanted and how i could get it. i started pursuing more friendships and nurturing the ones i already had. and i started praying about it.
two things happened:
1. i lost two friendships that i thought were the most important in my life.
2. i gained more friendships than i know what to do with.
i think the whole process of seeking friendship really caused me to analyze what friendship means to me. how did i want my friends to treat me? what kind of priority would i give them in my life? how did i want to treat my friends? how often did i need to socialize? how deep did i want to allow these relationships to go?
i learned a lot from focusing on friendship. i learned to have more respect for myself when it comes to my friends. i learned that i shouldn't hang onto friendships that make me feel bad about myself. just because i had been friends with some people since childhood didn't mean that i had to remain friends with them forever. people grow apart. they find other people that mean more to them, and that's okay. i need to feel valued in a friendship. i need to know that my friends respect me and want to pursue a relationship with me. if i put up with anything less than that, the consequences are my fault.
while losing friends is a really sad experience, i actually felt really empowered by it. i was dumping energy into people who didn't value me as much as i valued them. cutting those ties freed up energy i could place somewhere else...
...and i did!
i honestly feel like my life is overflowing with friendship now. i don't feel lonely anymore. i don't feel like i have sooooo much time and nobody besides levi and my family to spend it with. now i wish i had more time to give to my friends! i really cherish them, and i hope they know how much i love them. i'm going to focus on loving my friends more this month and being supportive of all the things they want to do and accomplish.
did you hear that? i just unofficially declared june national friendship month (this is on top of it being national jasmine's birthday month), so go out there and show your friends a little extra love! :)