Bare Bumping It at 36 Weeks

I am now 36 weeks pregnant.

This week started out kinda scary. At our regular ultrasound, the perinatologist informed me that my placenta "looked old." Apparently, it's prematurely aging. She graded it as a "grade III," which it shouldn't be until the end. All she really said was that it probably wouldn't be a problem, but I need to make sure I do my kick counts. Then she said I needed to go into fetal diagnostics at the hospital twice a week for monitoring until she comes...

At first, I was just kind of irritated that I had to go in for hour-long monitoring twice a week on top of all the other stuff we have going on. But a couple hours later, it sunk in what this whole old placenta thing means. It means that there's the potential for my placenta to essentially die and stop taking care of my baby. Then I freaked out. I've had to hear a lot of things like this throughout my entire pregnancy. It hasn't been easy, and there have been lots of little concerns and minor complications. I haven't freaked out at any of them. I hardly even flinched when I found out I had to have a C-section. But this was too much for me. I couldn't stop crying, and I was so so soooo scared.

Levi and I had church that night. I cried pretty much the entire time. At the end, two women prayed for me, Levi, the baby, and my jerk of a placenta. I began to feel a little bit of peace, but I was still pretty scared. The next day, I kept telling myself, "I won't be afraid. I won't worry." In the afternoon, I got a text from one of the women with this verse:

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. - Deuteronomy 31:8

That was really comforting, and I started to feel really covered in peace and prayer. Then Levi called and told me he had spoken with the most senior perinatologist at our ultrasound office. The doctor said that they never judge a placenta on how it looks; it's how it functions that counts. And since my baby is right on target, my placenta seems to be functioning just fine. He also said that the twice-weekly monitoring should be able to catch anything before it actually becomes a problem. 

Hearing this made me feel SO much better. I was so relieved, and I've been really relaxed about the whole thing ever since. I had my first monitoring appointment yesterday. Everything looked great, and I haven't noticed any decrease in movement. Baby girl is doing really well! Hopefully, she'll stay put until her scheduled Halloween birthday, but we're almost ready for her now, so she can come any time she wants.

Pregnancy is really hard, you guys! Even though this has been the most difficult period of our lives, I feel incredibly grateful for so many things. God has been taking care of us LIKE CRAZY. Seriously, I could write a book on this. We have seen miraculous provision. I trust God like I never have before, and it feels really really good. I'm excited to see what He has in store for my little family of three.

P.S. This is the most risqué bump shot you guys will see on here... hopefully, my bare bump didn't offend anyone too much. ;)

Mommas: Some Solicited Advice Please

Anyone who's ever been engaged or pregnant knows a thing or two about unsolicited advice. Well, here's your chance to offer me some advice that I'm actually asking for! ;)

Alright, first of all, let's talk breast pumps. I know I want an electric breast pump, but I have no idea what kind. Is Medela really the best? Should I get a double pump (that's what I'm leaning towards)? What else should I be looking for? I've been looking at these two: the Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature double electric pump and the Medela Pump in Style Advanced. Have you used either of these? Or something else? Thoughts? Are there any breast pumps that you would suggest I stay away from?

And besides strollers, car seats, cribs, and swings, what were your number one, can't-live-without-them baby items? And what were the items you thought you needed but hardly used?

Thank you in advance!!

Spooky

Guess who gets to meet her baby at 10:00 a.m. on the 31st of October??

This girl!
(Can you tell my shirt has little black cat heads all over it?!)

Our spooky little babe is all set to make her arrival via C-section on Halloween morning. You better believe we'll be calling her Spooky (I've been humming this song all day).

I'm honestly not even a little upset that I have to have a C-section... I've known it was a possibility for so long, so I've been able to come up with lists of drawbacks and benefits for each form of childbirth. I'm just so relieved to have an answer now! It's gonna be good. Really really good.

So yeah, in seven weeks and one day, I'm gonna be a mom! Oh wow... that's really really soon.

Oh, Pregnancy.

Hello! Remember me? I'm the one who used to update this blog with posts. Hi, how've you been?

I have not disappeared, and nothing's wrong. I just don't have much to say anymore... or I don't know how to say it. I'm not sure. Every time I start to write something or I take a picture, I end up not liking it  and giving up. Let's just blame it on pregnancy brain and the fact that I'm in my third trimester during a heat wave that is slowly sucking the life out of me. I hate heat. HATE IT. Always have, always will.

I am now 30+ weeks pregnant... 

(by the way, these are basically the only three outfits I wear anymore... nothing fits!)

Less than ten weeks 'til my due date!! We're still waiting to find out if I'll have to have a C-section due to a few little things going on, so our daughter could potentially be here in just under nine weeks (that's just insane). I'm really not worried about the prospect of having to have a C-section. I don't care about the method of childbirth as long as it's the safest way to get this baby girl out. I really can't wait to meet her. I wish she could come today... but there's still SO much to do that it's good to have this little bit of remaining time.

I've been pretty stressed and somewhat miserable. These are some other reasons my online presence has dwindled over the last few months. If I were blogging or tweeting more right now, most of the things coming out of my mouth would probably be complaints. I'm just not a big fan of being pregnant! I know some women absolutely love it and feel fantastic... I wish I was one of those women, but I'm just not. This is the hardest thing I've ever done. I am SO much slower now in every way (physically and mentally), and I find this really frustrating. My body hurts all the time. It's amazing to me that I can wake up with feet that feel like they've spent the last 12 hours walking around Disneyland! How is that possible?? And my entire back hurts constantly. On the bright side, my insurance covers visits to the chiropractor (which includes pre-natal massage!!!!). This has been SUCH a huge blessing and has helped me so much. I go every week. And every time I'm in that office, I praise God for the opportunity. Every pregnant woman should get to have weekly adjustments and massage.

As far as stress goes... ugh. I won't get into it too much. Levi and I are just really really struggling financially. We're behind on everything, and there are so many things we still need to feel prepared for the baby. We're really trying to keep baby stuff to the minimum, but we still need things in other parts of our life in order for this transition to go smoothly. I feel like I'm in nesting/preparation mode without the ability or means to nest and prepare, and it's frustrating. My ever-expanding body also stresses me out. I feel so fat, and I keep worrying that I'll never get to wear any of my cute clothes again. This sounds so trivial and ridiculous, but it really does trouble me. "Will I ever be skinny again???" runs through my head several times a day.

Even though I probably sound really negative right now, I'm still very hopeful that everything will work out. God always provides for us. Always always always. And this time won't be any different. Our faith is being tested in major ways, but I know it's not for nothing. I know God is doing something in us right now - training us, preparing us, protecting us, teaching us. I'm not sure what exactly He's got going on, but I know He's up to something. And that's really exciting to think about. And I know that no matter what happens between now and little Miss Myers's birthday, I'm going to have a beautiful, perfect daughter at the end of this. I'm going to be a mother, and Levi will be a father. And we are going to kick ASS at those jobs. I can't wait to see how this changes us. I can't wait to see what we do. I can't wait to see Levi holding his baby for the first time. I already know that my love for him will grow exponentially watching him become a father, and that thrills me beyond words. I'm really excited to fall in love with my daughter, but I might be even more excited to fall in love more deeply with my husband and to see how this strengthens our marriage.

I can't wait to become a little family of three. Three is a great number. I think we're gonna really like it.

Halfway and a Birthday!

I am officially at the halfway point of my pregnancy!! I can't believe this little girl has been with me for 20 whole weeks now. That's nuts! Hopefully, I have only 19 more to go because I'm still hoping for a Halloween baby.

Levi and I went in for our 20-week ultrasound on Monday, and it was awesome to see our little lady up on that screen. I was correct when I said that she's hanging out very very low. In fact, the technician laughed when she saw how low she was. She seriously couldn't get any lower. She's a burrower, I guess! I found out that I have an anterior placenta, which explains why I'm still waiting to feel a good, solid kick... I could be waiting awhile. I still feel her shifting around in there, but I want Levi to get to feel her too! Even though I'm not really feeling her too much, she is definitely very active. She looked like she was bucking and punching me with her little feet.

(another 20-week shot from the same day)

We learned that I have a low-lying placenta, which isn't ideal, but it's not bad, especially at this point. The doctor was very confident that it will move up as my baby grows. I was just really happy to hear that it wasn't praevia, which means the placenta is either partially or fully covering the cervix. This requires a mandatory c-section. We also found out that the umbilical cord didn't attach itself to the ideal location of my placenta. It attached itself to a thinner part. I'm really not worried about any of this though. The doctor didn't seem concerned, so I won't be either! Still, between these two things and my stupid thyroid (I have cyst in my thyroid that takes up the entire left side - it's been there for years, and let me tell you, it is NOT comfortable. It's severely suppressing my TSH levels, but my T4 and T3 are only borderline hyper-thyroid), they're going to keep a bit of a closer eye on me and the baby just to be safe, which means I get to go in for another ultrasound in four weeks! I absolutely love seeing baby girl, so I am just fine with extra ultrasounds. Plus, I really like that my doctors are taking precautions to make sure my baby and I are healthy. I feel like we're in very good hands.

In other news, my birthday was on Sunday. This was, by far, the weirdest birthday I've ever had. I wasn't looking forward to it at all (I just didn't care, which is so unlike me), and it turned out to be a little bit depressing for several reasons. I was kinda happy when the day was over. Regardless, Levi and I had a really nice dinner with our friends, Will and Drew. It's always awesome to see those guys, and I was happy to spend part of my birthday with them. Also, we're having a bonfire at the end of the month to celebrate, so I'm looking forward to that as well!

My mom stopped by our house on my birthday morning to bring me flowers, a beautiful card, and a dozen hardboiled eggs... haha! She knows I like them a lot right now, so she made a batch for me and wrote "Happy Birthday, Jasi" across the shells. So sweet! And even sweeter - she gifted me with some items from my Amazon baby registry!!! Part of her order arrived yesterday! I was so excited to get my first baby gifts that I lined them up and took a picture:

Our bottles are from mimijumi. They are AWESOME. Besides coming in an adorable milk carton and looking really cool, they're 100% BPA-, EA-, and latex-free. They're also designed to simulate a mother's breast, so they'll be a really nice complement to breastfeeding.

The book is illustrated by Julia Dennos, whose art I love, and the drying rack is from Boon. Baby stuff is so much fun. My latest (semi-stalkerish) hobby is perusing the Amazon baby registries of strangers, other bloggers, and pregnant friends... I love to see what everyone else is using for their babies. Try it... if you're weird like me, you'll have fun! ;)

19 Weeks!

Oh yeah! I have a blog! This post is going to be a pregnancy update, so I can remember some of the things going on at the midpoint when I look back on this whole crazy experience!

I am 19 weeks pregnant... almost halfway there. Everyone keeps saying, "I can't believe you're already 19 weeks!" And I want to respond with, "Really?! I feel like I've been pregnant for six years!" It simultaneously goes by quickly and slowly.

The "Bump"

I still don't have much of a bump, but here's the progression of what I do have. 

14 weeks:

16 weeks:

18 weeks:

The 18-week shot might be a little deceptive... I had just eaten a bunch of french toast. ;)

So far, it seems like I'm carrying her really really REALLY low and close to my spine. I still weigh a few pounds less than when I started, so there's definitely some room to grow!

Milestones

I'm going for walks much more regularly again! It's great. I really missed walking. When I got pregnant, Levi and I were taking an hour-long, fast-paced walk every night. I hope to get back up to that (and move beyond it) before I deliver, but I'm not pushing myself too hard. My main priority right now is to feel as good as possible.

I felt her for the first time around 15 weeks. It was really exciting! It felt like lots of tiny champagne bubbles popping, and it was very rhythmic. As soon as I realized it was baby, she, of course, stopped. I still feel the flutters from time to time, but I think I've gotten used to them, so I don't notice them as much anymore. I think she moves the most while I'm sleeping because I frequently have half-asleep dreams where I feel her shifting, then I wake up and feel her on one side of my belly. I also get lots of sharp pains low in my pelvis (where she likes to hang out), and I think that's her kicking and punching. I'm still waiting for a good solid kick!

We rented a fetal heart doppler a couple weeks ago, and that thing has been a lifesaver for me. It's only $20 a month (I got mine here and found a $5 off per month coupon code), and it gives me extreme peace of mind. I love hearing her super-fast little heartbeat. It sounds like a horse galloping.

Things I Really Like to Eat

soft pretzels
bananas
caramel rice cakes
coke slurpees
blue icees
strawberry chocolate chip pancakes
lemon pound cake from Starbucks
marshmallow/strawberry milkshakes
coconut shrimp
hardboiled eggs
french fries
grilled white corn on the cob

My cravings definitely lean toward the sweet side.

Symptoms

lower back pain (I swear she's dancing on my spine)
nose bleeds
crazy, severe itching attacks on my breasts, armpits, and neck
round ligament pains
dizziness
terrible balance

Besides the itching, none of these things bother me too much. I was getting really intense headaches every day for awhile, but those have eased, and my dizziness isn't as bad lately either. This week has actually been really great! I've felt pretty good and had a decent amount of energy every day so far (except for my 40-hour itching episode... that was tough). I spent a lot of time walking outside on Wednesday with Levi and even baked cookies that night! That has been my best day of pregnancy so far, and I loved every second of it.

And that's about it! We have a doctor's appointment and our growth and anatomy scan on Monday morning where they'll measure her and confirm (again) that she is, in fact, a she. I'm really looking forward to seeing her tumbling around on the screen. I already think she's the cutest and have assessed her personality based on how she behaves in ultrasounds (she seems really confident and self-assured to me)... I might be reading into things a bit much. I just really really like that girl.

Pregnancy Resources

I know I talk a lot about being pregnant these days. I really never thought I'd turn into someone who could talk about nothing else, but pregnancy is all-consuming right now. I'm still not feeling very well; therefore, I'm still not doing a whole lot, which is really frustrating (and kinda boring). I have high hopes of retaining my individuality as a woman when I become a mother, and I think pregnancy is a good place to start. But for now, while my life is fairly dull, I'll blog about pregnancy.

Annnnyway, I knew once I revealed this news that I really wanted to do a blog post about health insurance and a great morning sickness resource I discovered during my first trimester. Exciting stuff, yes?! The content may be a little dull, but I hope it can help someone who finds herself in a similar situation to me.

Levi and I are both independently contracted and essentially run our own businesses (Levi definitely runs his own business and does all his own taxes; I get 1099ed when I work). We both really love this, but it comes with a price - no health insurance for us... well, no company help with health insurance anyway. We could get private insurance, but we can't afford it, and every plan I've looked into says, "maternity not covered." Mind blowing! 

So when we decided to start trying for a baby, I began researching options for us. I knew we wouldn't qualify for MediCal or Medicare. The income limits are very very low. Back in our really tough financial times, we might have been able to qualify for it, but that's not the case now. This is awesome! We're moving up in the world. We're making good decisions. We're growing up (finally). But this also left us without any health care options, or so I thought! I ended up learning about a California program called Access for Infants and Mothers (AIM). It's for middle-income pregnant women without health insurance or with private policies with high deductibles.

I did all my research before getting pregnant to make sure we qualified, and we did! Once we obtained proof of pregnancy from a local clinic, we were able to apply for the program. We were so freaking excited when we got our approval letter!! The program is awesome. It isn't free, but the monthly rates are very reasonable and are based on your income. And I honestly really like that we pay for it. It makes me value it more. With that said, we don't have to pay any copayments or deductibles, and our plan covers everything. It is such a huge relief to have this taken care of, and once our baby is born, she'll be put into an insurance program as well. I know this a California program, so if you're living in another state without health coverage, this information probably doesn't help you much. But I do encourage you to find out if your state has any similar programs. Finding AIM took a little bit of digging, but I'm obviously so happy I found it.

The other resource I'd like to share is Motherisk, which is a "clinical research and teaching program at The Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto, Ontario, Canada that provides information and guidance to pregnant and lactating women and to health care professionals" (taken from Wikipedia). They have a number of helplines you can call where you can talk to counselors about things like morning sickness, alcohol and substance use, and HIV in pregnancy. All for free. Basically, they are Canadian angels.

I called the morning sickness helpline while I was in bed during my first trimester, sick, miserable, and desperate. The counselor I spoke with took down all my information and asked me a ton of questions, including, "How would you rate your quality of life right now on a scale of 1-10?" After she had a clear picture of what was going on with me, she came up with a plan to help me feel better and to have a higher quality of life. She advised me on when to eat, what to eat, and how much to eat, foods to avoid, vitamins I could try, medications that were safe to take, and what I could drink. She figured out really quickly that I had really bad acid reflux (I had no idea since I had never experienced it before), and she helped me come up with a plan of attack. She also said she would call to check on me again on Monday... and then guess what? She did! She called to check on me! On Monday! With all my information in front of her! At this point, I was still waiting for my insurance approval, so it was really nice to feel cared for and to have someone helping me through this trying time. They continued to check up on me and tweak my plan according to how my symptoms were changing. Everyone I spoke with at Motherisk was caring, kind, and competent. They reassured me about the safety of the over-the-coutner drugs they suggested, and they also directed me to pages on their website with studies done on the effects of individual medications in pregnancy. I can't say enough great things about Motherisk. They helped me so much. I really would have wasted away without the help they provided since I was unable to eat or keep anything down. They're very reliable and trustworthy, and their counselors do wonderful work. Levi and I intend to make a donation after our daughter is born.

So, there you have it! Not the most exciting post, but I really hope this information can be helpful to someone! I'm not exaggerating when I say that both programs have been lifesavers for me.

It's a...

girl!

My First and Only Unofficial Mother's Day

Even though I'm not officially a mother yet, we celebrated Mother's Day. We called it my first and only unofficial Mother's Day... because after this one, they'll all be official! That's so weird.

Levi gave me a really sweet present in the morning.

Then, we went to the beach and got strips... it's all I wanted.

We planned on staying out longer, but I got tired, so we went home. That night, we walked down to Peet's and played Pass the Pigs with an iced chocolate milk (I pretend it's an iced mocha).

It was the perfect day for this woman!

This is the closest thing I have to a baby bump... it's more of a lump or a blob or a bloat. And yes, I cropped off the top of this picture because my hair looked SO incredibly horrible. It's better now.

Happy belated Mother's Day to all you mommas and moms-to-be! And happy Mother's Day again to my own mom! We had the best time celebrating with you on Monday. :)

P.S. We get to find out on Monday if we are having a little boy or a little girl! Yay!!!!

Things I Love//Things I Hate

I have by no means had an easy pregnancy so far. I spent the first two months in bed 24 hours a day (literally in bed all day/all night) feeling pretty miserable and unable to do anything. I could only eat a few bites of food at a time, and I ended up losing ten pounds right off the bat. At 11 weeks, my doctor ordered an IV for hydration and a Reglan (anti-nausea meds) pump for me to have at home. Fortunately, the insurance company took so long to approve this (like 2.5 weeks) that I didn't need it anymore by the time they gave us the go-ahead (this didn't stop them from sending all the supplies to my house... hydration drip, anyone??). We also found out that I have hyper-thyroidism at 11 weeks (I've been pretty sure I was hyper-thyroid for a few years now... just never had the health insurance to do anything about it until now).

Of course, it could have been/could be much much worse, but it certainly hasn't been smooth sailing so far. Honestly, I'm kind of terrified of ever doing this again, and I've asked Levi to please be okay with having only one child just in case I never get my nerve up again. Anyway, now that I'm starting to feel a bit better (still waiting for this so-called second trimester energy peak everyone's always talking about...), I wanted to make a list of things I have loved and things I have hated about being pregnant. I'll try to keep my hate list brief. ;)

Things I Hate:

1. No Boar's Head cracked pepper turkey sandwiches or bleu cheese.

2. Constipation (sorry, but it's true).

3. Eating. Most food completely grosses me out now, and I rarely want to eat.

4. Gross smells.

5. I'm sure I could come up with lots of other stuff, but let's get to the positive side now.

Things I Love:

1. Crying at everything all the time. You know how sometimes it just feel SO GOOD to cry? That's how pregnancy crying feels to me. Every day.

2. Getting to see our baby via ultrasound. I've never thought an ultrasound of a baby was so cute until now.

3. Good smells! Even though a hyper-heightened sense of smell makes lots of things stink, good-smelling things smell sooooo good now - my mint chocolate deep conditioning treatment, for example.

4. My boobs!!! They're HUGE!

5. Knowing that even when I'm doing absolutely nothing, I'm still growing a human being. So even if it doesn't look like I'm being productive, I really really am!

6. Having health insurance!

7. Shopping for baby things.

I'm sure I'll have lots more to add to my love list in the coming weeks, but that's what I've got for now!

What do you/did you love about being pregnant? If you've never been pregnant, what do you look forward to the most? (Besides the baby...)

Finding Out

Hello! Thank you so much for all the sweet and wonderful congratulations on our big announcement yesterday! Levi and I were blown away by all the love we received on my blog and all over the rest of the Internet! It felt SO GOOD to finally share this big news that we've been keeping secret for the last few months.

I am now 14 weeks pregnant! Our due date is 6 November... although, I'm hoping for a Halloween baby. Good luck on that one, right??! First babies aren't exactly known for coming early, especially in my family. But a girl can hope!

We were completely shocked by this pregnancy. After my miscarriage, I had decided that I wanted to wait awhile to try again. Well, God had something else in mind because I got pregnant immediately after the miscarriage. I never even had a period after!

Finding out we were pregnant again was quite an experience. I had feared that I wouldn't feel happy or joyful the next time... and I was right. In fact, I honestly felt upset when I saw the second line forming on the pregnancy test. It wasn't that I didn't want a baby; I was just really scared. I didn't feel like I could handle losing another baby, and I was angry that what should have been a joyful experience was tainted by the knowledge of what could happen.

We had brunch plans with Chris and Stacey the morning we found out. I was three days late and hadn't really thought much of it (I figured I would be irregular after the miscarriage), but I decided to take a test just in case. About fifteen shocked minutes later, I was texting Stacey to let her know we'd be late for brunch. We drove down to Laguna Beach to meet them, and I remember listening to this song in the car and quietly weeping. It was then that I decided I wouldn't be afraid of the horrible possibilities. I decided I would put my faith in God and trust Him with whatever happened, regardless of whether or not I ever got to meet this new little life forming inside of me. I felt peace, and I held onto that peace and faith throughout those first uncertain weeks.

Chris and Stacey were the first people we told. There was absolutely no way we could have made it through brunch without sharing our news. They would have thought we were on drugs if we hadn't told them; that's how shocked we were. They were both really excited for us and had nothing but positive things to say. It was perfect actually. It helped us start to feel some excitement about the future. And really, I would have told Stacey that same day anyway... I texted Camilla later that afternoon to let her know too.

We had already had plans to go to Disneyland the next day (one of Levi's clients signed us in - woo!), and I was not about to let a brand new pregnancy stop me from going. I looked at it as my last chance to go on any roller coasters for the next 9+ months. We went on EVERYTHING, and it was so much fun. It rained a lot that day, so the park was pretty empty. We tried to stick it out so we could see World of Color, but pregnancy fatigue was already setting in, and we only made it 'til about 5:00 in the afternoon.

That whole weekend was exactly what we needed. Everything had been planned at the perfect time, and everything helped ease us into this new phase of life. And now, we're completely thrilled that I'm pregnant (especially since the wretched first trimester is ending). We can't wait to find out if baby is a boy or a girl, and we love talking about what kind of parents we want to be and the things we hope to teach our child. I'll probably blog a lot about being pregnant... hopefully, that doesn't get annoying. It's just on my mind a lot, you know?! I'm so happy and relieved to finally get to talk about it here on my blog. I was really running out of things to say before (I don't enjoy keeping secrets at all), but now I have all sorts of things to go on and on about! :)

A brand new little outfit for...

...a brand new little baby!

Baby is expected to make his or her appearance some time in early November, and we can't wait!!

(P.S. Thank you, Wolfie, for loaning us your cute little baby Toms, and thank you, Pinterest, for this sweet little shoe idea.)