Cecily is seven weeks old now. So much has happened. My life has changed so completely. In the best possible ways. I used to feel so discontented on a regular basis. I constantly found myself thinking, "I can't wait for [this]. I can't wait for [that]. If only [this]. If only [that]." While I was pregnant, I had a whole list of things I couldn't wait for with having a daughter. I even wrote them all down! They're saved in my phone somewhere.
But now that she's here, that has all changed. I rarely feel discontented anymore. Sure, there are many things I want to see change in my life. And there's tons of stuff I want. But it doesn't eat away at my heart and soul anymore like it used to.
And as far as that list of things I couldn't wait for when my daughter arrived - yeah, I can wait. I am so happy with where I'm at with her right now that I rarely even think about what lies ahead. I've already seen how quickly it goes. I just want to enjoy every moment with her. I don't want to rush ahead in my mind. It's all so good right now.
Even the hard parts are good. They show me how much patience I developed the second I met Cecily. I'm amazed at how much tolerance I have at 2:00 in the morning when she's screaming in my ear, projectile vomiting everywhere, when I've sung her favorite lullaby on a loop for 45 minutes. I'm amazed by my ability to slow down and think, "This is all only temporary. Before I know it, we'll all be sleeping in our own rooms through the night, and I'll miss the days when I stayed up rocking her and singing her to sleep." And I will miss these days. I'll miss them so much. I'm already in a continual state of mourning all the tininess and sweetness that has passed. But each new stage is so wonderful that I can't be sad for too long. Being a mother is so heartbreaking and beautiful and exhausting and draining and energizing and fulfilling. It's all of these things all the time. It's the best thing I've ever done, and I love every single second of it. I was born to do this. I've never been happier.
Here are some photos of Cecily on her one-month birthday (11.20) and a couple days after her one-month birthday (11.22 - Levi's birthday... aka Thanksgiving 2012):
I can't believe another month has almost passed since we took these photos!! For Cecily's one-month birthday, we took her to Fashion Island. It was her second visit there. She's super into it. ;) And on Levi's birthday, we walked down to Peet's for a late breakfast and hung out there for awhile. We didn't do anything for Thanksgiving, but it was a really nice day just hanging around at home, relaxing, and eating (we made honey balsamic cornflake chicken and Greek yogurt mashed potatoes - my current favorite meal).
I hope to start blogging regularly soon so that I can record all of the milestones happening on a daily basis around here. I have a really strong desire to document it all so that I don't forget anything, but I have an even stronger desire to slow down and live in the moment. Finding a balance between those desires (and finding the time!) will be my challenge. But for now, this works!
I hope to start blogging regularly soon so that I can record all of the milestones happening on a daily basis around here. I have a really strong desire to document it all so that I don't forget anything, but I have an even stronger desire to slow down and live in the moment. Finding a balance between those desires (and finding the time!) will be my challenge. But for now, this works!
i am having the same dilemma--it is so hard :)
ReplyDeleteoh this post is so beautiful!! it makes me so happy to read this.
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful post! Momma tears now haha. Your little lady is so dang cute :)
ReplyDelete