27 April, 2011

mental illness


i loved the emma/ocd story line in this week's episode of glee.

it made me REALLY proud that i'm doing something to spread awareness about mental illness.

freely talking about my mood disorder on my blog and in my life has been really empowering for me. i don't have to feel ashamed of my illness. it doesn't make me a bad person. it really doesn't say anything about me. just like the doctor told emma - mental illness doesn't define you; it's not who you are; it limits you from being your true self.

i couldn't agree with this more. i feel so much closer to becoming the "true me" since i started therapy and medication. i tried medication on and off in my late teens and early twenties, but i had been misdiagnosed, so it didn't work for me. as a result, i spent years saying, "i will never take medication again. it doesn't work. i don't feel like ME when i'm on it. i don't need it. NO."

as soon as i finally accepted that i did need it, everything changed. i was able to find an incredible psychiatrist who correctly diagnosed and treated me. the very first medication that he put me on worked! i felt the change right away. seriously. i felt it within a half hour. and i have been SOOOO much happier ever since.

i still struggle. i still go visit the peaks and valleys, but the changes in my mood are no longer so drastic. i'm able to function more regularly. life is a little easier.

i'm still a work in progress and always will be, but finally admitting that i had a problem changed my life in so many amazing ways. i will never go back to a life without treatment. it's just not worth it.

11 comments:

  1. great post! I agree embracing out weaknesses and limits and learning to deal with them as being part of us and not controlling us is so important. I too struggle with mild chronic depression. I'm on a good med for it now and feel good most of the time. It makes me feel more like a whole person when I talk about my issues with mood and depression. I think sometimes it bothers so people that I am so open about it, but it helps me and it also helps others who may also be suffering from something to feel safe to be who they are....warts and all.

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  2. Go you! Thank you for being so open, i too have suffered on and off since my teens, and constantly felt ashamed. Let's break the taboo of talking about it! X

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  3. Go Jasmine! I think you are doing a splendid job raising awareness about mental illness. Each time I read a post I feel like I actually know what it must be like to be in your shoes. So often, talking about mental illness is done with a indifferent or scientific manner, it is so much more informative to have someone who is actually going through it doing the explaining! Keep up the awesome work!

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  5. It amazes me, that so many years into very good science, we still don't really believe that our brain chemistry is just as likely to be genetically affected as the color of our eyes. Years ( as in, like 15 ) ago there was an article in time magazine about manic depression within the Amish community which had been proven, via molecular biology to have a physical/genetic origin. I remember wondering, "I wouldn't have any problem taking insulin if I had diabetes, why do I have such a problem taking meds for my brain? It's at least as important as my pancreas..." Well done, J.

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  6. I've been reading your blog for a really, really long time, and I was SO BLESSED when you started to open up about your journey through mental illness. Many of my loved ones have struggled through similar journeys and I work as a social worker in this field. I admire you and am so thankful that you're being vocal about all of this.

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  7. I also think it's important to spread awareness about mental illness. I have dealt with Major Depressive Disorder for many years, but never felt like I could talk openly about it. I've never really addressed it in my own blog, though, so I applaud that you can. I've never spoken about my troubles with many of family members, so I don't know how they would take it seeing it in my blog. One day, perhaps.

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  8. You are amazing! I love this. <3

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  9. Best post, jasmine! I loved that part of glee too! I even forget that this is not me, but something that is keeping me from being ME. I needed to read this, so thank you! You are amazing, and so inspirational to me!

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  10. <3 Thanks for bringing awareness! So important!

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  11. I've been reading your blog for a while, but have never left a comment until now. Your honesty and candidness that you use to discuss your life, and particularly your struggles with mental illness (because what, we can't come up with a better one? us crazies are also creative and smart :) ). I also have spent years dealing with my own process to get where I am now, which is just a constant state of adjusting to life when needed, and enjoying life in the ways that don't raise my anxiety, but bring peace and stability into my life.

    All that to say something you already know - you aren't alone. Even though every person has their own unique journey through this crazy world of medications, therapy, blogging, etc, there is some comfort in being able to say, 'wait, I'm not actually crazy, this is just a chemical imbalance that CAN be helped, and I'll do my thing and continue to move on with my life because it's ME. just how I'm supposed to be.'

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