i loved the emma/ocd story line in this week's episode of glee.
it made me REALLY proud that i'm doing something to spread awareness about mental illness.
freely talking about my mood disorder on my blog and in my life has been really empowering for me. i don't have to feel ashamed of my illness. it doesn't make me a bad person. it really doesn't say anything about me. just like the doctor told emma - mental illness doesn't define you; it's not who you are; it limits you from being your true self.
i couldn't agree with this more. i feel so much closer to becoming the "true me" since i started therapy and medication. i tried medication on and off in my late teens and early twenties, but i had been misdiagnosed, so it didn't work for me. as a result, i spent years saying, "i will never take medication again. it doesn't work. i don't feel like ME when i'm on it. i don't need it. NO."
as soon as i finally accepted that i did need it, everything changed. i was able to find an incredible psychiatrist who correctly diagnosed and treated me. the very first medication that he put me on worked! i felt the change right away. seriously. i felt it within a half hour. and i have been SOOOO much happier ever since.
i still struggle. i still go visit the peaks and valleys, but the changes in my mood are no longer so drastic. i'm able to function more regularly. life is a little easier.
i'm still a work in progress and always will be, but finally admitting that i had a problem changed my life in so many amazing ways. i will never go back to a life without treatment. it's just not worth it.