sometimes i really miss my old life.
i miss sharing a tiny studio with levi in downtown long beach. i miss the little corner by the window where i always sat because it was the only place in the apartment i could get an internet connection.
i miss my old rooftop.
i miss the restaurant we used to go to where you could buy a huge pizza for $8 and sit and eat peanuts at the counter.
i miss when buying a cutting board was exciting.
i miss life without tv where entertainment came from playing cards and making stupid faces for the camera.
i miss when lily was the only kitty.
i miss when gretel was a kitten.
i miss how THRILLED OUT OF MY MIND i was to move into our current apartment.
i miss not having a couch.
sometimes i even miss life before i started therapy. i miss the familiarity of my emotions... even if they were out of control.
i love my life now. i'm happy. i'm emotionally stable. i'm married to my best friend, the man i prefer to anyone else in the universe. i have a job! i don't have to worry about where my next meal is going to come from anymore. i don't have to sit around waiting for life to start. i get to shop sometimes! i have cooking accessories in my kitchen! i can afford groceries. we have internet AND cable. i have my own little office nook.
seriously, life is GRAND.
but sometimes i miss the simpler life we had back in the "old" days when things were so hard. i miss the joy i found in little teeny tiny things. when you have more and you're able to do more for yourself, sometimes you forget to appreciate those little things.... sometimes it takes more work and intention to appreciate them.
sometimes you have to remember to be grateful and to love the life you're living.