14 April, 2009

sometimes it seems like i've got the only good one

the other day, levi and i found out that two of our friends had broken up. they've been together for a long time and have a baby together. no one expected this at all. it has really upset me. both of us actually. it looks like he cheated on her too. this makes it so much worse. these people are our friends. both of them. levi has been especially close with the guy, and it's killing him that he would do something like this. that he would just throw everything away and completely tear apart the lives of those in his little family. it's so pointless and irresponsible and thoughtless and selfish and awful.

another one of my friends was just dumped by her boyfriend by email. he had just met her entire family. they had already seriously discussed marriage. and he sent her an EMAIL to end their relationship. jerk. her only response to the email was "ok." SO proud of her for that one.

another girl i know is about to have a baby with her ex (not exactly sure on the story, but i don't like a guy who dumps a pregnant girl). she's due in like two weeks. he hasn't told his parents yet and doesn't intend to.

the common trait to all these guys (besides the obvious as*hole trait) is that they're all Christians. they're all supposed to be men who love and follow Jesus. and, for the record, they are actual chuch-going Christians...not the ones who just go to church on Christmas and Easter. what is going on here?? why aren't there more MEN in the world? and especially in the Christian community. i mean, HELLO, Jesus set a pretty darn good example. you'd think these idiots could figure it out and learn how to treat a woman. sometimes it seems like the Christian men are worse than the guys who don't have any faith at all. it depresses me.

i hope it doesn't sound like i'm being judgmental here. i know i don't have room to judge. levi and i don't have the typical christian relationship. we're not married, and we live together. it's considered a no-no. we have made our decision based on various factors, and we stand by it. God may not condone our decision, but he understands us and loves us just the same. we're judged for this decision often, so i don't want to sit here and nitpick the actions of others who claim to love Jesus. but levi and i love each other actively. we treat each other well and work really hard on our relationship. we respect each other and listen to each other. we consider each other in everything we do. God is a part of our relationship and our decision making process. we may not do everything right, but we do these things right. the men i listed above don't seem to be doing anything right in regards to their relationships with women. how can this be? why is this happening? what are we teaching our boys to make them turn out this way? what is it about our society that excuses this behaviour?

i'm truly baffled. it makes me sad. some days i feel a little bit guilty that i have levi. i have someone who will never do any of those awful things to me, who will never treat me poorly. i don't deserve him, but he's in my life just the same. i just want the same for all the women in my life, and i want the men in my life to live up to the high standards that we, women, should have set for them. ugh.


  1. yes, it is sad isn't it? it is so amazing when you find that one guy! levi sounds like an amazing one! hold on to that one tight!!

  2. yep, now i understand why all my married and/or friends that were in serious relationships stuck to each other! not because they didn't want to talk to their single friends, but because they didn't want to get involved in the drama. i hate saying this, but it almost makes me more thankful, ya know?

  3. Hate to say this for unfortunately there are Christians & they are "Christians"...I guess?! Joyful Spring sister* ~ &Blessings*

  4. Plenty (I'm going to estimate MOST) of people call themselves Christians but don't live that way. People are just mean and selfish sometimes.

    I feel terrible for your friends.

  5. Thanks for your comment on the Perfect Palette :0)

  6. Boo them! What IS wrong with people? It's like relationships are garbage they can just toss away and not think about anymore. Truly sad. Do NOT feel guilty. You are a lucky lady, but I'm sure you also work to make your relationship thrive, which makes you pretty awesome and deserving of a great guy!

  7. have you checked out her recipes? they are so fun and easy! and trust me i don't cook much!!

  8. Oh man, that is tough. My heart breaks hearing about stories like that. It's crazy how many people call themselves "Christians" and are the worst people ever! haha

  9. =( i feel for your friends...
    .... it is the worse feeling ever...

  10. I didn't plan to put any in my shop until May but if you wanted one now I can definitely whip one up for you! Just let me know which fabric you liked! :D

  11. Why feel guilty? You deserve to be happy! Those guys you described sound like tools. Usually, I'm wary of people who go around claiming to be oh so devout and are holier than though, because they always to be merely human and not as great as they like to portray themselves to be. If you're one with God, that's fantastic but you don't have to act like you're better than everyone else when you're not. It's so hypocritical.

  12. thanks, indie! i know it's kinda silly for me to feel guilty...i just want everyone else to feel happy too.

    and i completely agree with you. there's something wrong when getting closer to God makes you act like you're better than everyone else. getting closer to God brings humility and gratitude. not that i've got these things under control by any means! i just feel like i'm a little more aware than the idiots who do crap like this and claim to be some great person.

  13. Hi -- I clearly don't know you, but I found your blog through another blog, and I just read this post. I feel compelled to say that I am in a similar situation (living w/ my now-fiance, soon-to-be husband) but as long as you're faithful to each other and God, you just can't worry about the rest. Good for you for knowing that being a Christian is about more than going to church and saying you're a Christian. It means living a loving, truthful, meaningful life! Sounds like you and Levi totally get that. :)

  14. yes. just found your blog through naomi/rockstar diaries and must tell you that you have a contagious joy to your photos. i love how much fun you look like you're having and record, in fact, that you are (:

    i am a christian--certainly out of the mold here--pregnant and now living with my soulmate (who is not the biological father of the child i'm carrying). crazy right?! i've seen so many men walk out and duck from their responsibilities and their roles and i guess that makes me even more thankful for the MOST AMAZING MAN to have entered my life and owned so much that wasn't even his.

    anyways. loving your life today and thankful for your joy and all the good men out there!

  15. IMHO it's because they unquestioningly try to cage themselves in a rigid moral system that is neither truly Christian (in the sense of what-would-Jesust-do, nope, it's the twisted version that evolved during uber-scared witch-hunting sin-obsessed middle ages and uber-prude 19th century... ) nor fit for human beings given the way they are tuned. Then they can't stand it any more and do the exact opposite of what they're supposed to do according to that system - often in worse ways than those who didn't try to fit into it in the first place. Plus all the hidden or overt misogynism that Christianity swept up along the way that actually makes it easier for these guys to walk out on women. Whatever moral system one subscribes to, one should carefully probe it before agreeing, and possibly only agree partly if some of it doesn't make sense to one's mind or heart. Looks like you guys are doing that; congratulations! And hey, girl, don't feel guilty. Stop the whole "I don't deserve him" stuff. (I've been there, and it's only made me - and my partner! - unhappy). If you guys are happy together, have an equal-partners relationship and such - which it sounds like you do - you two deserve each other alright. Again, congratulations. Oh, and need I say I've been reading through your blog archive for the past hour or so? I really enjoyed it :)



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